Relationships

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Friends can have a great influence on our behavior.

Basic Law Regulating Relations With Unbelievers
[60:8] GOD does not enjoin you from befriending those who do not fight you because of religion, and do not evict you from your homes. You may befriend them and be equitable towards them. GOD loves the equitable.
[60:9] GOD enjoins you only from befriending those who fight you because of religion, evict you from your homes, and band together with others to banish you. You shall not befriend them. Those who befriend them are the transgressors.

Do Not Befriend Hypocrites
[3:118] O you who believe, do not befriend outsiders who never cease to wish you harm; they even wish to see you suffer. Hatred flows out of their mouths and what they hide in their chests is far worse. We thus clarify the revelations for you, if you understand.

We should do our best to befriend righteous people so they help us become more righteous. On the Day of Judgment, friends cannot save us.

[43:67] The close friends on that day will become enemies of one another, except for the righteous.

[44:41] That is the day when no friend can help his friend in any way; ...

The next and very consequential relationship is one we share with our spouse. Marriage is encouraged in the Quran (24:32), so, I pray those looking for a spouse find one who is best for their souls. God tells us the purpose of having a spouse. [30:21] Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.

[16:72] And GOD made for you   spouses from among yourselves, and produced for you from your spouses children and grandchildren, and provided you with good provisions….

But we are also cautioned in the Quran that our spouses can be our enemies and how to deal with it if that were the case.

[64:14] O you who believe, your spouses and your children can be your enemies; beware. If you pardon, forget, and forgive, then GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.

This is our prayer: [25:74] .... “Our Lord, let our spouses and children be a source of joy for us, and keep us in the forefront of the righteous.”
Some couples after marriage are blessed to have children and some are blessed not to. It’s all part of God’s plan. I think we have a very different relationship with our children than with our spouses or even parents. I know I tend to feel responsible for having brought my children into this life. But it was a relief to realize that they are just as much responsible for being in this world as I am. We each of us made the choice to come here with free will (33:72) and we all of us stood before God and bore witness to His greatness (7:172). And in the end we will all come before Him as individuals (19:95)
I have the responsibility to guide their physical, emotional and spiritual well-being, to help them find the best path to God. [20:132] You shall enjoin your family to observe the contact prayers (Salat), and steadfastly persevere in doing so. We do not ask you for any provisions; we are the ones who provide for you. The ultimate triumph belongs to the righteous.

But as much as we love and care for our children they can’t help us; in fact if we idolize them they can become sources of grief for us. [9:85] Do not be impressed by their money or their children; GOD causes these to be sources of misery for them in this world, and their souls depart as disbelievers

So our goal is to raise our children as righteous human beings by being the most righteous examples that we can be for them, so they can join us in heaven, God willing.

[52:21] For those who believed, and their children also followed them in belief, we will have their children join them. We never fail to reward them for any work. Every person is paid for what he did.

Alongside all these relationships we have a relationship with all the people in the world around us whether they are neighbors, acquaintances or anyone else we interact with in any capacity. Any person we come across should be treated with kindness and humility (4:36, 16:125, 17:53). How can we expect anyone to accept the message if we are not setting the best examples or following what we preach?

[41:34] Not equal is the good response and the bad response. You shall resort to the nicest possible response. Thus, the one who used to be your enemy, may become your best friend.

Next I would like to talk about our relationship with our submitter family.  This is one of the closest relationships we have spiritually since we are going to be together for eternity. Even though we don’t see each other often or may not keep in touch as much as we would like to, it is definitely one we will cherish in heaven for eternity.

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