|
Cont'd from page 2
to show if we steadfastly persevere and lead a righteous life. [3:186] You will certainly be tested, through your money and your lives, and you will hear from those who received the scripture, and from the idol worshipers, a lot of insult. If you steadfastly persevere and lead a righteous life, this will prove the strength of your faith.
The tendency to compare ourselves to others is human. But as Theodore Roosevelt said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s a decision that can get us caught up in what we don’t have. Let’s not waste time vainly comparing ourselves with others seeking to boost our egos if we have more or be unhappy when we have less. Instead, we should be joyful and appreciative of God’s blessings and work hard to grow our souls to be worthy of more.
Comparisons are sometimes unfair since we may compare the worst we perceive about one individual to the best we presume about another. Our egos may disastrously grow seeing ourselves as better or get hurt if we realize we’re not. Comparisons take up precious time. Comparison puts focus on the wrong person, thinking about other peoples’ lives rather than our own.
The so-called “perfection” of others is an illusion. In this world, some people are given more than others, but it doesn’t make their lives perfect (9:55). And comparisons can turn friends and allies into enemies.
Comparisons rooted in this world are often about ego and jealousy. Both are human weaknesses to guard against.
[25:43] Have you seen the one whose god is his own ego? Will you be his advocate?
[2:213] The people used to be one community when GOD sent the prophets as bearers of good news, as well as warners.
He sent down with them the scripture, bearing the truth, to judge among the people in their disputes. Ironically, those who received the scripture were the ones who rejected any new scripture, despite clear proofs given to them. This is due to jealousy on their part. GOD guides those who believe to the truth that is disputed by all others, in accordance with His will. GOD guides whoever wills in a straight path.
[7:43] We will remove all jealousy from their hearts. Rivers will flow beneath them, and they will say, “GOD be praised for guiding us. We could not possibly be guided, if it were not that GOD has guided us. The messengers of our Lord did bring the truth.” They will be called: “This is your Paradise. You have inherited it, in return for your works.”
Another problem when we compare is being unappreciative. We should ask ourselves whether it’s our egos wanting more. We must practice submitting to God’s will and being appreciative of what we have. Knowing He is in full control. [14:7] Your Lord has decreed: “The more you thank Me, the more I give you.” But if you turn unappreciative, then My retribution is severe.
Instead of worldly comparisons, why not compare the soul with the goal of improving it? Let’s compare ourselves to Job and ask if we are as steadfast as he was in the face of great adversity. [21:83] And Job implored his Lord: “Adversity has befallen me, and, of all the merciful ones, You are the Most Merciful.”
Remember to be appreciative. [14:34] And He gives you all kinds of things that you implore Him for. If you count GOD’s blessings, you can never encompass them. Indeed, the human being is transgressing, unappreciative.
Can one make positive worldly comparisons? Yes. For instance, if you come across someone better than you in basketball, instead of letting the ego get worked up, you can make the valid observation that he is more skilled and emulate him. Play against him for the purpose of improving yourself. In this way, you’re comparing a specific skill that the person has;
it’s focused and purposeful. This is using comparison as a motivation. It can show you what’s possible—climbing Mt. Everest, running a sub-4-minute mile (all with God’s help). But when you compare to someone’s wealth or appearance or social standing, it’s often your ego, which you must kill (2:54) not nourish.
In summary, let our comparisons be focused on goals of doing better. We are here to grow our souls and we can learn from others and help others. We should be careful lest our egos drive comparisons and should remember all good is from God not us. Let’s not be unhappy about what we don’t have but instead appreciate what God has given us.
Mariam Mababaya offers some tips as she writes, “If you see yourself closely, you’ll notice that there are good things about you which others lack, tough lessons you have learned, and good qualities which some folks wish they had. Don’t compare yourself to others, for each has a book full of stories, and each has a role. Each one has his or her own journey to travel, experiences, talents, and puzzles to solve…. Everyone has his or her own set of strengths and weaknesses…. When God gives good things to some and not you, it’s out of wisdom and it’s from God’s plan.”
[20:131] And do not covet what we bestowed upon any other people. ...
[2:152] You shall remember Me, that I may remember you, and be thankful to Me; do not be unappreciative.
[16:18] If you count GOD’s blessings, you cannot possibly encompass them. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
[31:12] We have endowed Luqmãn with wisdom: “You shall be appreciative of GOD.” Whoever is appreciative is appreciative for his own good. As for those who turn unappreciative, GOD is in no need, Praiseworthy.