My Journey to Submission

Cont’d from page 3

I stopped drinking and took on a lot of what you could call ‘Islamic morals and behavior.’ But something was still wrong; eventually I was tearing my hair out in frustration because I just could not stand the idol-worship of Muhammad. Although (at the time) I appreciated the wisdom of Hadith and Sunna, I couldn’t help feeling that a new trinity was beginning to emerge…

Soon after I put a web search in for Islam and teenagers and found the teens page on Submission.org and was absolutely glued to the screen from then on. I was initially annoyed with a lot of the content and proceeded to argue with it mentally. But of course almost immediately it began to make sense. Over a couple of days I had read the majority of the whole site and breathed a huge sigh of relief. So I was right to question it after

all, just like I was right to question the trinity. Looking back it was almost as if God was saying to me “Now that I have shown you Islam, my religion, and the worst side of it and you were prepared to accept it, let me show what it is really like.”

I ignored all references to the 19 code on the site at first, the idea that hadith were to be discarded was big enough. I was of course amazed when I finally read about the Mathematical Miracle and Rashad Khalifa’s claim to messengership. From the start I accepted it easily. There was just so much sense in it, and I had been craving sense for a long time…

Rashad said he was a messenger; just the fact that he was saying that with such confidence and had met the conditions was enough. I consider it a blessing that not coming from a Muslim background I had not developed an attachment to Muhammad and his persona, so I was quite happy to forget about him and

his opinions. I had never even thought about whether he was the last messenger or not. I ordered Rashad’s translation from Amazon and it soon became one of my most treasured possessions. Reading it constantly I heard from God over and over again “do not harbor any doubts.” I wondered what I was waiting for and starting praying soon after. I didn’t tell anyone or make an announcement; I didn’t say the shahadah in anyway. I just started praying one day. It took a couple of days before I learnt the movements and months before I could say Sura 1 in Arabic only because there was nowhere I could hear it from. I was in a dream world. Nothing had ever felt as good as those few days. I was at peace with the world. And I have been ever since. Now I know what I am here for and the soul-searching is over. Submission is my life.

All praise and thanks is due to Almighty God. May the kingdom, the power and the glory be His, now and forever, amen.

A.R.