March 1996: Page 1, 2, 3, 4

Submitters Perspective

Page 3

Five months ago I was visiting my childhood friend in Islamabad when she passed me the message. Since then I have carried out a thorough study of the translation of the Quran by Dr. Rashad Khalifa, along with some supplementary literature my friend supplied me with. Very soon after the message was given to me, I became a submitter.

I really feel that it is changing my life—that it’s changing me in a lot of ways. I had spent the past six years of my life in a state of disbelief—not disbelief in God, but disbelief that he could really help me out of my problems—or even, quite stupidly, I doubted that He wanted to. Two years ago it took a very big personal crisis to make me realize the God really is the only one there for me, that He does listen, and He is the only one who could help me out. God was constantly on my mind since then and I wanted to find my faith and I wanted to maintain it. I tried—I began reading a translation of the Quran which was lying at home. Its archaic style and language put me off and I couldn’t get past the second chapter. I read portions out of the rest of the Quran but it didn’t seem to settle well with me.

I was constantly “talking to God” but I could not compel myself to pray? something seemed to be holding me back physically. I don’t belong to a very religious household?even though they take great pride in being “Syeds.” When I tried to look to someone for guidance, I was only given a list of compulsions in our religion and of all the awful punishments awaiting me. I felt confused and also unable to handle problems relating to other areas in my life. I could not figure out which way to go and what to do.

I was in a constant state of depression and felt as if there was a huge space inside me which kept growing and I could not figure out a way to close it or fill it. Nothing—friends, “fun,” things, people, nothing could take it away. I decided that it was probably due to my

weak faith. I started praying but I was not regular. When I finally received the message about submission from my friend, I decided that I would really go ahead and find everything out for sure this time. If God was guiding me, it was because He probably wants me to be guided and I could not let this opportunity just go.

Each time I opened the Quran and read it, I see something new that reinforces my belief. The amazing clarity of the language Dr. Khalifa has used makes it much easier to read than any other translation I’ve seen. I try now to pass the message on to people I know, people I meet socially—or to anyone who would care to listen. Unfortunately the traditions we’ve been following are buried very deeply within people’s minds in this country and they refused to accept what I tell them. So far I have had little success. I tried to pass the message to a friend and she was quite responsive at first but finally rejected the whole idea by saying that, firstly, I was complicating her life and ideas of religion; and secondly, she said Dr. Khalifa could have created the mathematical code and that “mathematics can go wrong....” That was the biggest disappointment I have faced so far. I was enraged at what she said but I cooled down and forced myself to disregard the aversion I felt for her at that very instant—it was like one of the verses of the Quran coming to life. I told myself I tried and now it's up to God to deal with her. I talked to a lot of people daily and most reject the concept, while some show doubt—which I feel means they’re a quarter of the way there.

The biggest problem I face is that my knowledge about submission isn’t as vast as I’d like it to be. I need to talk to more people, read more, learn more so that when I talk to people they can’t argue ceaselessly. Sometimes I have questions and I turn to my friend for answers, but she and I are in the same boat. Her mother and sister are also

submitters and we all teach each other all we learn, but it isn’t enough. We’d like to know about other submitters in our area.... I would really appreciate it if you could answer all my questions.... I will be looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

[Editor's note: These are some excerpts from a letter sent to us. Unfortunately, we are not able to publish the name of the submitter who shared his experience with us because of the social and religious oppression in the country in which he lives. We all pray for the well-being of the brothers and sisters who live in places where their God-given religious freedom is not allowed by the so-called Muslim scholars and government officials.]