POLYGAMY

Polygamy was a way of life until the Qur’an was revealed. When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy was one way of populating it and bringing in the human beings needed to carry out God’s plan. By the time the Qur’an was revealed, the world had been sufficiently populated, or at least the right numbers of people had been brought into this world. This is why the Qur’an put down the first limitations or discouragements against polygamy.

Don’t get me wrong; I am not saying that polygamy is Haraam or against God’s law; it is God’s law and it is permissible, but under strictly observed circumstances. Any abuse of this law results in such severe retribution, it is not worth it. I wish to point out here that although polygamy is God’s law, we MUST watch out for the circumstances and make sure that we are truly complying with the strict limitations our Creator has put down.

Our perfect example in this subject is the Prophet Muhammad. He was married to one wife, Khadijah, until she died. He had all his children from her, except one. Khadijah received Muhammad’s full attention for as long as she was married to him; twenty five years. Thus, for all practical purposes, Muhammad had only one wife. From

the age of 25 to the age of 50, that is man’s real life, he had only one wife.

    This perfect example tells us that a man must give his attention, his full attention and loyalty in marriage, to his wife and children in order to raise a happy family.

    After Khadijah died, Muhammad married widows of his martyred friends who had many children and no means of financial support. These are the facts of history. There were a couple of “political” marriages in the life of Muhammad after Khadijah’s death. His best friend Abu Bakr begged him to marry his daughter Aisha. Some writers and/or orientalists have decided that Muhammad married Aisha when she was 9 years old. Big lie. Even now in the Middle East, people assign husbands and wives to their infants at the time of birth. And many of those arranged marriages do take pace as planned at the moment of birth. But this does not mean that the babies get married at that tender age. They do get married after they reach maturity. So much for this blasphemy against the Prophet.

Omar also begged the Prophet to marry his daughter Hafsa, and the king of Egypt “gave” Muhammad a slave girl, Maria, whom the Prophet married and from her he

had his son Ibrahim. The other marriages of Muhammad were to old widows with children who needed help. The Qur’an’s most prominent reference to polygamy emphasizes that polygamy is a means of providing a home and a father-figure for orphaned children (see 4:3). Other references to polygamy emphasize the limitations against polygamy. For example, verse 3 of Sura 4 states that if we must resort to polygamy, we have to be absolutely fair in treating the wives. Then in verse 129 of the same Sura we are told that it is impossible to be fair in polygamy.

    These restrictions point out the possibility of abusing God’s law. Unless we are absolutely positive that God’s law is not being abused, we better stay away from polygamy. If the circumstances do not clearly dictate polygamy, we better give our full attention to one wife and one-set of children; it is our duty to raise one happy and healthy family. The children’s psychological and social well-being, especially in a country where polygamy is illegal, dictate monogamy on us.

    A few basic criteria for polygamy may help the sincere believers:

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