Feeling Faith
Cont’d from page 1
I want to feel the curiosity of a child marveling upon the creation
of the heavens and earth while standing, sitting, or on my side
(3:191). Yes, I am eager to remember God when convenience and necessity
present me the opportunity. My prayers of contact come and go quickly.
Where is this continuous flow of praise before sunrise, at the beginning
of my day, throughout the middle of my day, towards the end of my
day as I am utterly lost, before sunset, and during the evening
(52:49, 20:130)? Where is the presence of faith that feels God before
taking any action, making any plan, or moving forward; the same
consciousness that can remember God immediately after forgetting
and say in forgiveness, “my Lord, guide me to do better next
time” (6:121, 43:13, 18:24)? Where is the fascination in my
wakeful eyes for the beautiful plants growing from vibrating lands,
the pillarless heavens, the colors of fragrant fruit, sweet honey,
and the rosy dusk (22:5, 31:10, 35:27, 16:69, 84:16)? Where is my
resolve to honor the Most Honorable night and day without ever
wavering or tiring (21:19-20)? I need to feel an awareness that
is not aware of time or of my laboring but only of more awareness.
I need my faith following a clear question; “is it not better
to be one of those who meditate in the night, prostrating and staying
up, being aware of the Hereafter, and seeking the mercy of their
Lord” (39:9)?
Is my heart fully reverent as I contact my King through prayer
(23:2)? My soul needs much
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more from me than to stand, memorize
and recite prayers five times a day for the remaining days of my
life. I need to penetrate every word and movement of glorification
for each prayer my Grantor has gifted to me. I need to embrace this
priceless opportunity knowing its time will arrive only once and
will fade forever as my next gift nears. Where is the faith that
rescues my mind from the three-minute flood of irreverent preoccupation
that prevents my ritual from becoming a real reverence? I need to
feel this reverence rousing the numbness that spreads ever so innocently
inside me with each distraction. I need the faint vibration of my
faith charging to the resounding emotion of the thunder that strikes
its roar in praise of God’s glory (13:13). Not only today
or tomorrow, but at the precise moment of each contact and during
every prostration that is witnessed by God, for the remaining days
of my life (70:34, 26:219). And I need this feeling with the blessing
I have been given to return through charity what God has multiplied
manifold for me. I need my heart to feel fully reverent as I open
my arms, giving cheerfully for the sake of God (23:60, 2:177, 2:272).
Am I eager to engage in righteous causes and compete in doing
so (23:61, 35:32)? I may perform a noble deed when the occasion
presents and may even initiate my own. I must feel an enthusiasm
that can advocate and accomplish an ever-increasing effort of righteous
works without sensing weariness or weight. I need to feel the same
desire that drives a dedicated athlete to train vigorously in preparation
for competition;
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tition; the athlete who sees suffering
as strength towards the greatest triumph of victory (35:32). This
striving and steadfast perseverance can exist only when I begin
to feel the force of my faith. Do I reserve this effort for occasions
of grand undertaking or great turmoil? I must feel the fervor of
these qualities to battle the great adversity within that prevents
my fight for greater causes. I want to race along the difficult
path knowing that my striving will bring me closer to the Source
of Righteousness (3:133, 90:11). This path can have no feelings
for dignity or exaltation as I seek to exalt the Most Exalted and
be humbled before the Most Dignified (28:83, 35:10). Along the way,
I need my eyes to covet only the everlasting quality of righteousness
and the great blessing my heart has received (20:131). I need the
tears of gratitude washing away the grief for all that I have missed
and beams of appreciation blinding the pride for all that my Provider
showers upon me (57:23).
I want to feel how the mountains tremble and crumble out of reverence
for God upon witnessing what the Honest Spirit has delivered (59:21,
26:193). I need to feel my body crumbling in prostration, my ears
vibrating with heeding intrigue, my mind seeking refuge in the Best
Supporter, and my faith soaking in every word of mercy and guidance
that enters my soul (32:15, 7:204, 16:98, 8:2). I need my heart
to feel it can soothe any trouble with this glorious and profound
source of wisdom that the Lord of the Universe has revealed (50:1,
15:1, 36:2).
Cont’d on page 4
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